Monday, June 23, 2008

I Do, Doggone It! Do You Too?

In Chicago, now that summer is here and autumn looms, there are three great anticipations that have already begun preoccupying the citizenry:

1. The prospect of the Chicago Cubs making it to the World Series for the first time since 1945.

2. The prospect of Barack Obama becoming president of the United States.

3. The prospect of partaking in I Do, Doggone It!, a mass dog wedding that is striving to become part of the Guinness World Records.

The level of zeal is not necessarily in that order, either.

After all, while there are massive numbers of Cub doomsdayers and Obama naysayers, there are only three types of critics who would even consider condemning the cumulative canine conjugal bliss that beckons:

1. Curmudgeonly newspaper columnists like John Kass of the Chicago Tribune who, come to think of it, is also a Cub doomsdayer and Obama naysayer. For a recent example of Kass's contempt for ruff-ruff romance, check out this column (headlined" You know your pets really want to get married, right?") from June 18, 2008:

I Do, Doggone It! organizers are eternally optimistic, and plan to extend a personal invitation to Mr. Kass to be a part of the special day.

2. Misguided cat lovers who are simply jealous of the dog's longstanding and insurmountable preeminence in domestic pet-dom.

3. Culturally conservative pet owners who may balk at the same-sex marriages that are sure to be prevalent during I Do, Doggone It!

To counteract the potentially disruptive effect of John Kass's presence, organizers will also invite San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom, the reigning political champion of same-sex marriage.

I Do, Doggone It! is being organized by Downtown Oak Park ( and will benefit the Animal Care League ( of Oak Park.

For more information, contact Matt Baron at 708-860-1380 or

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